10(ish) Things I Hate About You

Henry Sandercock vents his annoyance at other people’s frustrating habits.

As a polite, gentlemanly and civilised man I usually keep my little pet hates to myself. However, over these past few weeks of term some trivial little things have been niggling away at my good nature. These are the habits which belong to you, the good people of UKC.

First on my hit-list: ‘snifflers’; you know who you are. Granted, with winter fast approaching and with some of you coming from sunnier climes and therefore being unused to such conditions, you will be suffering from runny noses and the like. However, I implore you, please stop sniffling! My advice: think before you sniff or, even better, you can blow your nose into one of Britain’s greatest gifts to the world, the handkerchief.

The next group of people who ought to be fearing my wrath are, what I like to call, the ‘sudden-stoppers’ or the ‘daydreamers’. Have you ever been hurrying across campus, five minutes late for a lecture, hungover as hell only to find your route blocked by someone who seems to drift from one side of the path to the other, as if their sole goal is to impede your inevitable overtaking manoeuvre? Or even worse, have you ever found yourself taking wild evasive action after someone has suddenly pulled to a halt right in front of you as if they have just walked into a wall? The habit I am referring to here is that of switching to autopilot whilst walking around campus and it drives me insane. Day-dreaming is for the library and the autopilot switch should only be turned on at home, where you are well out of my way.

Finally, the habit I detest beyond anything is ‘Facebook’ or ‘Twitter Syndrome’, namely the compulsion to write your life story on the internet. Not many people are that bothered about what is on your mind, particularly when you update everyone about its altering state every 5 seconds. Nor do people desire to know what you have just eaten for dinner and they certainly do not want a picture accompanying it, particularly if they are a permanently hungry student. So please, I beg you, do not be ‘that’ person, be considerate of others, and eliminate your bad habits.