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9 Reasons Why Jason Derulo’s ‘Trumpets’ is Not Good

9 Reasons Why Jason Derulo’s ‘Trumpets’ is Not Good

Jason Derulo Trumpets article image

Thanks to pictures of Jason frolicking with dogs, poor musical choices and unadulterated arrogance, Hetty doesn’t like Trumpets by Jason Derulo. Read on for other reasons.

1. The introductory bit where he squeals is not surely real? I take offense to it. The family cat twitched when she heard the first note, before nonchalance fixed itself on her face for the rest of this ‘song’. Jason is known for his vocal athletics, but the first note sounds like a small animal being forced into a trouser press. I don’t want to hear it. We hear even more of this later on, only higher.

2. The video starts with him sat on the bed looking with a smug smile on his face at some girl seductively twisting about the bed in her bra and knickers. We must presume that in the narrative he wishes to present that this girl is his partner, whilst in real life we know it’s just dumb voyeurism. Later on, he takes off his top for a few shots against a brick wall, but one feels too disgusted by his self-love to really appreciate this Gender Equality move. Later, the girlfriend sits – in lingerie of course – on his lap in a nightclub, and does some pole-dancing for him. He smokes a cigar and is dressed up an LA 1920s stock broker.

3. Whenever Jason and his Girlf get intimate and start to kiss, and the whole thing softens to a sort of mutual affection, a bunch of trumpeters in Poundland soldier outfits stampede over the bed and around the bedroom (or on and in the car later on). If I were his girlfriend, I would not like this arrangement (in addition to a few other minor issues with anti-social squeaking, arrogance et cetera).

4. Jason asks a series of questions, all of which start with ‘is it weird that..?’ Such is the weirdness of the things he lists (as well as his inability to think of synonyms for ‘weird’) that one feels the questions are somewhere between rhetorical and moronic. ‘Is it weird that your ass/ Remind me of a Kanye West song?’ ‘Is it weird that your eyes/ Remind me of a Coldplay song?’ ‘Is it weird that your bra/ Remind me of a Katy Perry song?’ Yes.

5. The song builds up to what Jason probably thinks is a feel-good climax of (you guessed it!) trumpets, drums and his repeated assertion that ‘the trumpets, they go..’ I was almost reminded of the fleeting glee Mika brought us with his various offerings of happy-go-lucky high-pitched pop. Unfortunately, a really shite backing track just made me feel anger towards the recycled nature of Jason’s ‘music’. And the build-up wasn’t really a build-up because the backing track came in full blast before the first chorus.

6. ‘Every time you get undressed / I hear symphonies in my head.’ Dearest Jason: A) I very much doubt this. B) If this is true, why didn’t you write a symphony instead of this crap? C) WHY do you persist in doing that annoying ‘sym-*beat*-phonies’ thing, apparently for the sake of rhythm? Couldn’t you have written it any other way? It’s killing me.

7. There’s some hideous electric noise just before the last trumpety sound (8), which sounds like the congratulatory noise you get on a kid’s toy.

8. At the end Jason seemingly steals the high pitched trumpets from the BBC’s The One Show. How dare he?!

9. The dog in the video is kind of off-putting sat there on the bed, and keeps on inexplicably moving about the bed in between shots, as if it has a little doggy teleport hidden underneath its little ugly doggy paws, enveloped in the duvet. Above the bed, Jason has a big portrait of his oiled-up torso. The other two smaller pictures hung up are of him and his dog frolicking on the bed.

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28 Comments

  1. Awesome explanation I think it is pathetic that all of this inappropriate shit can be on tv in the middle of the day and as for the musical crap symphonies in his head wtf do the trumpets just mean hes going off like a trumpet cause theres a whore in his bed? If I was his partner in real life I wouldnt accept that shit even if it was just a “music video” its borderline porn like life these days but it shouldnt be allowed on tv when kids are awake running around :/ most music videos are only making money cause they fill them with whores the songs arent even good even the actual girl artists who only became famous cause they were naked sound like cats being strangled yuck happy by pharrel is a great music video and song its what every music video should be like its a great song too I was so glad when there was no nudity or half nude ec

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  2. These so called “trumpets” sound like they are coming from a shitty 80’s synth.. i cry evertim 🙁

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    • Agreed. If he had used real trumpets in the song it probably would have given this song some soul, but then the lyrics wouldn’t mesh. I guess it’s just a cheap song squeezed out by someone who otherwise is pretty damned talented.

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  3. Emily I think you’re missing the point of why she thinks it’s a bad song, Just saying. If you don’t want to watch it because of the nudity or whatever, just don’t watch it, instead of doing the whole ‘THINK OF THE CHILDREN’ routine. But yeah, awful, awful song.

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  4. I don’t like this song either, but you have to keep in mind that its only a video. And the trumpets stand for “oh my god this girl is so sexy and I can’t believe she’s mine”. Funny review btw 😉

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  5. This song is amazing!!! So what if the lyrics are inappropriate! Are you guys a bunch of homeschooled kids hahahaha
    Jason has a phenomenal voice especially when he sings high….i’d like to see one of you hit that pitch.

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    • Totally agree

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  6. This was on of the worst reviews I have ever seen. All it is, is moan moan moan about the video.

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  7. Funk y’all haters. I just love how he took the trumpet idea and made a song. Yes the lyrics are not the best but give him credit for the creativity.

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  8. I agree with you Dan, it is the worst review ever, infact it sounds more like an attack on Jason himself. I really love that song it is fresh and different from what I’m used to. I think jason is really talented and his vocals are really good and it really shows on that song.. He is doing a good job. With regards to the comments on the video, Come on it is a music video not a reality show.. Are you serious??

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  9. I never leave comments actually this is a first. I think this review is irrelevant – I thought the song was fresh.

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  10. The review is correct. The song is awful, barely Zeitgeist, tin-sounding, 1-dimensional pop of the worst kind. Dissecting such unpleasant sounding formulaic trash to explain why it is annoying is a useful exercise and, whilst it may seem like moaning, reminds us all to be a little more critical, even of something as transient and populist as this rubbish.

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  11. Tj i disagree with you, the song may fresh but think of it. Isit okay to play this kind of song in a public. And this song is innappropriate , and its awful for the children to hear it .

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    • Don’t be an idiot! Of course this song isn’t for children! A lot of songs aren’t! It wasn’t even made for children! Comments like these are so ignorant.

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  12. I think the person who is writing this review should get a platinum album before bashing on jason’s video.
    I think the video is awesome,sexy,hot and creative.

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  13. Guys don’t bag on Jason. He is a cool guy and a talented singer. If you don’t like his music, do not listen to it. If you don’t like it than don’t watch it, seriously. Plus people like his songs, alot of people love this song, its just a song that is supposed to be fun. So seriously stop this immature hating on Jason

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  14. Guys why are you abusing this song,well no,This VIDEO!Most of the complaints are on the video!this is an awesome song and the video is creative.And know what?GO AHEAD HATERS HATE ME,I DONT CARRRRRRRRRRREEEEE!(pewdiepie reference)

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  15. The writer of this article is clearly sipping on that haterade

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  16. Best review ever lmaooo

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  17. The trumpets are a good indication he has a brain tumour, and I thought he was singing giving jollies to a man in a bra.

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  18. This song is so bad, it gave me cancer.

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  19. This song feels like assault and battery. I cannot stand it. Mostly for the #4 repetitive and unoriginal product placement.

    Where he just brings up a series of lines that end with random other song artists. MAYBE theres some deeper meaning to the song artists but to know that I’d have to be intimately knowledgable of their works because ‘Is It wierd that your bra reminds me of a Katy Perry song’ is not obvious what he means so either I call it random product placement or I go thru all the Katy perry songs to figure it out.

    But the fact its on the radio at all is what sickens me.

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  20. I was thinking this morning what a shit song this is. I feel like it’s exactly the way a love tribute should be written if we lived in a world without art, literature or beauty. His allusions to things obviously beyond his artistic or aesthetic reach (trumpets, violins, symphonies) seem like mockery. As you said, “why didn’t you write a symphony, instead of this crap!” Perfectly stated.

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  21. Haters gonna h8! Jason DeRulo is an awesome artist. Let’s not forget the Video is a successful package, part done by Jason himself, part by the promotional company. He has an ace voice, probably (I am a mathematician) better than the hater writing the review. He makes a lot of cash making a lot of people happy. If he upsets the haters, so be it!

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  22. Stupid Artist, stupid beat and lyrics.

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  23. #HATER

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  24. For someone who hates the song/video, you certainly must have watched it a number of times….. oh, and you forgot to point out that he’s watching his own music video as the video starts (before he starts singing).

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  25. Who is the Woman in the video? I don’t care about the song…

    Reply

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