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The Guardian recently published an article chronicling a series of polyamorous relationships to show how different they are from one another, but also just how functional they can be for all the parties involved. With the Green Party leader Natalie Bennett saying that the party is open to having three-way civil unions, it brings up an interesting discussion about relationships in the modern world. Same-sex marriages became legal in March 2014 so, naturally, polyamorous relationships being recognised officially could potentially be the next act of our generation.
First and foremost, polyamory is not an excuse for cheating on someone. The difference between polyamory and adultery is that all individuals involved in a polyamorous relationship have made a decision together to have more than one sexual/romantic partner, whereas adultery is one person in the partnership breaking the trust of the other. These relationships are based on trust and benefit all the people involved in them.
Polyamorous relationships can be just as varied as monogamous ones, with some being straight, gay or bisexual (depending on the genders of the people involved). They are fascinating to observe because in mainstream media we are told stories all the time about love triangles and jealousy, but polyamorous relationships are never portrayed as a potential solution (perhaps because the writers know little about them), or as a standard relationship. People often see polyamory as an excuse to sleep with a lot of people whilst still being in a relationship, but this is mostly not the case. As humans, we cannot help being attracted to other people even when in a monogamous relationship; we see it in celebrity crushes or random people in the street. Polyamory works for those who are secure because they have made a decision that benefits all the parties.
However, polyamory does not work for everyone; it only seems to work for some. Most of the public would not feel comfortable with their partner dating someone else because jealousy and insecurity sets in. People in monogamous relationships expect their partner to be attracted to only them and make their relationship the priority; they don’t want to share. This is fair enough, because people are very attached to their partners. Although, just because polyamory doesn’t work for a lot of the population, it does not mean that polyamorous relationships should be stigmatised. They deserve as much respect and dignity as monogamous ones.
