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Varsity 2011: Banterbury Returns
Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, just take a few moments to look around you and observe. Can you feel the atmosphere in the air? Can you see the probably many sports clothed people going about their daily business? It can only mean one thing; Varsity is upon us.
Yes, it’s that time of year again. Teams are training to put that extra effort in, individuals are working out for those 10 minutes longer, people are creating mindless insults that are supposedly veiled with good natured humour. Wait, what?
Indeed, that time has come again. ‘Banterbury’ is rearing its ugly head. It’s a time that shows that neither University knows what banter actually is, and instead results in mindless name calling and over the top swearing. For you see, banter in its purest form relies on in-jokes with participants who are comfortable with each other. Every person knows it’s intentional, yet innocent, and showcases the wit and intelligence of a person good at bantering.
But obviously, this is never the case. University of Kent and Canterbury Christ Church have a notoriously strained relationship; Neither particularly cares about the other for the duration of the year. But when Varsity comes around, it’s gloves off.
There are typical chants that both sides produce. The UKC faithful proclaimed ‘Former Poly! Former Poly!’ while the CCC collective reply with...well, according to the Facebook page, replying with monotonous swearing. The students of CCC have shown that with a quick C-Bomb, their argument is devalued as it shows a certain lack of imagination when it comes to debates. And I’m not making it up: ‘top points for a top cunt‘, ‘shit all over UKC la laa laaa’, ‘Fuck off u md vdzjtnhyrhgghmh,j amhz. Vg eg xrgg Idiot Of jrhgfygf’ and ‘UKC WANK WANK WANK!!!’ are all examples of the supposed banter that is being thrown to UKC. None of it is witty, none of it is intelligent, none of it is good natured.
Now before I get called biased, I would like to point out one atrocity that should be mentioned. One UKC student felt the need to deeply abuse hundreds of people who have recently died in an earthquake in New Zealand, who share a name with UKC’s rivals: ‘Just saw there was an earthquake at Christchurch. I rejoiced for a few seconds until I realised it was the wrong one =(‘ is a statement from a person who really should have no business representing either University, and again, isn’t what bantering is.
I would like to issue a challenge for both Universities in 2012. Please, come up with some banter that doesn’t involve swearing, or disrespecting the dead. Instead, to truly wind up each other, creative uses of each other’s subtle nuances will rile people up a lot more. And after all, Varsity is all about one-up-mans-ship; let the best side win.